Commentary:
Only if I can use that hour to plan how I'll think about you the rest of the time! 🕒🤔🧠
136 Funny yourself quotes
The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to end up in the exclusive club of one! 🏆🙃🚪
If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?
Commentary:
Looks like I'm undefeated… and also winless! 😅🏆🤷♂️
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅
It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.
Commentary:
When "procrastibaking" has been done 5 times, "Procrastibettering" is next on the to-do list 😂🥐➡️👍
I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.
Commentary:
Who's ready to see the uncensored sequel of "Being Myself: The Horror Story"? 🎬👻😆
Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.
Commentary:
My entire university experience summarized: a full-time gig in creative persuasion 🤔🎓📚🔜
Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.
Commentary:
Lucifer finally asking for advice? Next, you'll tell me cats are forming committees. 😈🐈⬛📚
The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.
Commentary:
Looks like "treating myself" is leading to some serious calorie and cash burning disasters 😂💸🍰
Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.
Commentary:
"Finally, a motivational speech my lazy self can get behind! 😅🙌"