136 funny yourself quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

May 19, 2026

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

May 19, 2026

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

May 19, 2026

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

May 19, 2026

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

May 19, 2026

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

May 18, 2026

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

May 18, 2026

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

May 18, 2026

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

May 18, 2026

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

May 18, 2026

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Apr 1, 2026

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Apr 1, 2026

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Apr 1, 2026

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Apr 1, 2026

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Apr 1, 2026

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Apr 1, 2026

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Apr 1, 2026

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Apr 1, 2026

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Apr 1, 2026

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Mar 31, 2026

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Mar 31, 2026

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Mar 31, 2026

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Mar 31, 2026

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Mar 31, 2026

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Mar 31, 2026

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Mar 31, 2026

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Mar 31, 2026

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Mar 31, 2026

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Mar 31, 2026

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Mar 31, 2026

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Mar 31, 2026

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Mar 31, 2026

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Mar 30, 2026

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Mar 30, 2026

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Mar 30, 2026

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Mar 30, 2026

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Mar 30, 2026

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Mar 30, 2026

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Mar 30, 2026