Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Spotted on X:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Live now on Discord:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Spotted on Threads:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Just shared via Threads:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Spotted on Instagram:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Going viral on WeChat:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating this place feels like a pop quiz on people's names! 🎃😂👻

crowd, haunted, haunted house, high, high school, house, humor, idea, lighting, lit, nostalgia, people, poorly, reunion, school, seen, shopping, spooky, Walmart

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

0

2 months ago

art, feet, humor, martial, martial art, mastery, self-care, shower, wash, washing, washing feet
I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

0

2 months ago

butter, complaint, crumb, crumbs, difficult, difficult time, family, humor, keep, leave, me, please, thoughts, time, visiting, visitor
Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, fifth, food, fridge, harder, hope, hoping, humor, hunger, kitchen, magic, new, nothing, opening, snack, time
“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

0

2 months ago

ears, humor, music, reaction, turn, turn down
Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, energy, ever, friend, friendship, guilt, horrible, i, interaction, introvert, live, message, open, procrastination, reply, social, social interaction, text, text message, think, three, weeks
Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

0

2 weeks ago

asleep, break, cat, funny situation, media, phone, situation, sleep, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

55 shares on X this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Seen just now on Threads:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Making waves on Telegram:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨