Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Live now on WeChat:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Just shared via Messenger:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Strangers: the surprise piñatas of perspective shifts 🎉🤔✨

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

99 shares on X this month:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Live now on Pinterest:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Trending via YouTube:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Broadcasted on X:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Just landed via Discord:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴