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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Making waves on Slack:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Live now on Messenger:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Just shared via Messenger:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Chanel bags for everyone! Way better than Taco Tuesday, but just as cheesy 👜🧀😎

bag, bags, buy, chanel, Chanel bag, excitement, friend, friends, i, luxury, me, random, shopping, spontaneous, treat yourself, Tuesday, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

0

2 months ago

FitBit, fitness, frustration, humor, i, irony, item, lost, lost item, put, steps, taken, track, tracking, trying, where, wish
Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

0

2 months ago

adventure, again, being, escape, expensive, free, getting, health, humor, lost, mental, mental health, never, seen, therapy, wilderness, woods
Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

0

2 months ago

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware
Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

0

4 months ago

around, comparison, cool, cooler, getting, here, humor, me, season, temperature, weather
My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

0

2 months ago

balance, choices, experience, humor, life, live, living, money, once, priorities, save, savings, spending
I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

0

2 months ago

every, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, own, popping, relatable, shit, single, someone, startled, talk, time, toast, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

29 shares on X this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

31 shares on X this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

98 shares on Discord this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Breaking via Reddit:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Seen just now on Threads:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Spotted on X:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨