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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Shared recently on Threads:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Just shared via X:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Going viral on YouTube:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me leaving the zoo like: 🐧🚗 'He followed me home, I swear!' 😂"

animal, car, end, escape, humor, i, ID, joke, penguin, pet, shift, work, workplace, zoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

0

4 months ago

conversation, ever, every, flirting, humor, question, single, thing, thought
Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, deserved, dressed, face, getting, getting dressed, humor, i, morning, myself, punch, say, self-deprecation
Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

0

2 months ago

back, change, daylight, daylight saving, earlier, hour, humor, joke, nice, sarcasm, saving, stole, theft, time, year
I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

0

2 months ago

always, concern, cycle, friends, humor, i, media, mood, over, relationship, social, social media, tell, Tweets
At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

0

2 months ago

age, came, forgetfulness, getting, humor, life, luck, lucky, means, memory, remembering, room, walking
Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

0

2 months ago

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

73 shares on X this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

84 shares on X this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Trending via Telegram:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending via Threads:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Just landed via Facebook:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Going viral on Twitch:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Making waves on Telegram:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Trending via Messenger:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨