Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Spotted on TikTok:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Breaking via Reddit:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Trending via Messenger:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Trending via Instagram:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me leaving the zoo like: 🐧🚗 'He followed me home, I swear!' 😂"

animal, car, end, escape, humor, i, ID, joke, penguin, pet, shift, work, workplace, zoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

0

4 months ago

beating, better, conversation, dead, dead horse, friendship, girl, girls, horse, humor, i, letting, love, never, night, nothing, peace, rehash, rest, Saturday, Saturday night
Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad driver, crossroads, driver, driving, humor, intersection, life, unfortunately
Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

0

2 months ago

billionaire, hell, humor, irony, money, sarcasm, saving, wealth, weird
I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

0

2 months ago

broke, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, joke, memory, money, remember, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, still, struggle, well, why
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

0

5 months ago

better, confidence, else, everyone, full, humor, insecure, insecurity, paradox, people, personality, personality trait, room, same, self-esteem, situation, social, social situation, super, think, time, trait, walk
Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

48 shares on X this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Making waves on Discord:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Trending via Facebook:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Making waves on Slack:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Breaking via YouTube:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨