I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

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I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

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I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

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Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

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Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

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Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

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Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

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Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.