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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Just landed via Twitch:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Spotted on Threads:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Just shared via Snapchat:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Just landed via YouTube:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Going bananas on Threads:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! 🎸🤘😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

0

2 months ago

allowed, anger, day, days, difficult, difficult day, frustration, humor, i, myself, patience, people, remind, reminder, self-control, today, where
I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

0

2 months ago

after, awkward, comedy, conversation, conversation starter, cringe, humor, i, interaction, love, making, most, say, silence, social, starter, whole
Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

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5 months ago

action, actions, behavior, confusion, drive, frustration, insanity, sense, trying, understanding
I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

0

3 months ago

alternate, alternate reality, better, comparison, dimension, funny remark, humor, i, liked, personality, reality, remark, version
When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

0

2 months ago

activity, blood, blood pressure, family, group, group activity, health, humor, involvement, machine, person, pressure, whole
A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

0

2 months ago

again, bring, convenience, frustration, house, humor, i, leave, need, next, print, printer, service, tech, thing, where, working, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

91 shares on X this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Just shared via X:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Seen just now on Slack:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Going viral on Threads:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Live now on Reddit:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Going viral on Threads:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Just shared via Facebook:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨