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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,918

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Trending via Pinterest:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Going viral on Twitch:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Trending via TikTok:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Spotted on X:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! 🎸🤘😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

1 month ago
activity, another, awkward, bag, eating, hands, humor, inside, know, man, popcorn, snack, touching, unfamiliar
I dare you to try and be more single than me.

1 month ago
challenge, dare, dating, fun, humor, i, independence, me, relationship, single
I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

1 month ago
attractive, confidence, humor, i, keep, me, mouth, nothing, quality, say, self-awareness, shut, think
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

1 month ago
best, fun, getting, having, humor, irony, job, leisure, life, me, sarcastic, thing, whole, work
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

1 month ago
activity, avoid, avoiding, avoiding someone, awkwardness, burn, calorie, calorie burn, exercise, exercise humor, funny activity, humor, i, just, know, social, social awkwardness, someone, trying, Walmart
Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

1 month ago
afternoon, belief, believe, choice, choose, humor, irony, nap, naps, relaxation, sleep, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Live now on TikTok:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Breaking via Threads:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You lose some, you lose some more.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

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I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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