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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Just landed via Discord:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Breaking via Discord:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Seen just now on X:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

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I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.
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Commentary:
"When I crank up Metallica, my neighbors join the live concert! 🎸🤘😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

21 shares on Threads this month:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Just landed via Reddit:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Trending via Facebook:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Trending via Discord:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Trending via WeChat:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Just shared via Discord:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Shared recently on X:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

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