I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

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Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

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One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

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I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

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If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

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Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.