Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Spotted on WeChat:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Spotted on Instagram:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Live now on Messenger:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about November's long nights and early darkness, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the sun clocks out early, but you’re still stuck at work: Goodbye daylight, hello nightlight! 🌆🌙😴

3, after, afternoon, daylight, forgot, funny observation, i, just, night, November, observation, time, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

86 shares on Slack this month:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

39 shares on X this month:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

97 shares on Discord this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Seen just now on Slack:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Spotted on Messenger:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨