Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,052

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Just shared via Twitch:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the sun clocks out early, but you’re still stuck at work: Goodbye daylight, hello nightlight! 🌆🌙😴

3, after, afternoon, daylight, forgot, funny observation, i, just, night, November, observation, time, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

1 month ago
alive, babe, being, comedy, conversation, dark, dark humor, existential, horrors, humor, ok, relationship, sarcasm
Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

1 month ago
employment, environment, great, honesty, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, lying, sarcasm, work, work environment, workplace
I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

4 months ago
application, applying, candidate, competition, frustration, humor, i, interview, job, jobs, keeps, meet, taking
Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

1 month ago
aspiration, bad, career, dreams, following, humor, i, job, job market, market, unemployment
By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

2 months ago
communication, conversation, humor, irony, late, short, someone, story, time
The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

1 month ago
alarm, annoyance, best, daily, daily routine, family, humor, living, living situation, parent, parents, routine, situation, sleep, thing, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Just shared via Threads:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏