Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Trending via TikTok:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Shared recently on Threads:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yacht-wrecking therapy: when retail therapy just doesn't cut it! 🚤💥🤣

animal, animal behavior, behavior, destruction, emotion, feel, humor, i, just, life, marine, marine life, need, orca, ruin, sarcasm, something, sometimes, yacht

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

6 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

0

3 months ago

communication, cool, figure, going, humor, information, media, meme, memes, news, social, social media, through, Twitter, watching, world
The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, blow-dryer, convenience, free, frustration, hotel, humor, travel
“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

0

2 months ago

before, confusion, forgetting, games, here, humor, i, location, lose, losing, memory, mind, mind games, myself, put, say, self-talk, where
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad memory, happiness, humor, key, memory, optimism, perspective
Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

0

2 months ago

bot, communication, days, good, humor, memory, message, messaging, nostalgia, old, person, remember, technology, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Threads this month:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

94 shares on Threads this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

17 shares on X this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

12 shares on X this month:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Live now on Threads:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Just landed via Instagram:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Making waves on Slack:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Spotted on Reddit:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Going viral on YouTube:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Making waves on TikTok:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨