Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Making waves on Twitch:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Spotted on Twitch:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Trending via Threads:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Live now on Telegram:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Going viral on Pinterest:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yacht-wrecking therapy: when retail therapy just doesn't cut it! 🚤💥🤣

animal, animal behavior, behavior, destruction, emotion, feel, humor, i, just, life, marine, marine life, need, orca, ruin, sarcasm, something, sometimes, yacht

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

0

3 months ago

banter, character, character comparison, comparison, feel, game, humor, i, lover, Luigi, Mario, playful, playful banter, prowess, raw, relationship, sensual, sensual lover, video, video game
I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

0

2 months ago

bad, bed, blocked, confidence, dating, humor, media, never, rejection, relationships, sarcasm, self-esteem, social, social media, told, unfriended
Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

0

2 months ago

friendship, humor, i, listening, me, sarcasm, secret, trust
“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, attempt, awkward, awkward moment, cancel, communication, event, going, hesitation, introvert, moment, social, social anxiety, social event, still
Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

0

2 months ago

am, appearance, aurora, aurora borealis, borealis, date, humor, i, joke, love, waiting
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Shared recently on X:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Live now on Messenger:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Trending via Facebook:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Trending via Messenger:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨