Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Seen just now on X:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Making waves on Discord:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about orcas needing to ruin yachts to feel something, playful and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yacht-wrecking therapy: when retail therapy just doesn't cut it! 🚤💥🤣

animal, animal behavior, behavior, destruction, emotion, feel, humor, i, just, life, marine, marine life, need, orca, ruin, sarcasm, something, sometimes, yacht

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Just landed via Telegram:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Shared recently on Discord:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Trending via Slack:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Live now on Snapchat:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Live now on Facebook:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨