Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Live now on Threads:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Just landed via X:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Just shared via TikTok:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Live now on Twitch:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Trending via Pinterest:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yacht-wrecking therapy: when retail therapy just doesn't cut it! 🚤💥🤣

animal, animal behavior, behavior, destruction, emotion, feel, humor, i, just, life, marine, marine life, need, orca, ruin, sarcasm, something, sometimes, yacht

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

0

2 months ago

emotion, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, resilience, sarcastic, stress, together
Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

0

2 months ago

ever, game, goalie, humor, lonely, question, sports
Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

0

4 months ago

chair, clean, closet, clothes, dilemma, dirty, humor, laundry, laundry dilemma, too, welcome
Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

0

2 months ago

another, dating, flirtation, humor, i, link, love, me, music, post, relationship, Spotify
Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

0

2 months ago

boss, day, day off, excuse, fun, i, outside, play, playing, sorry, today, work
Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

0

2 months ago

animal, believe, book, books, hand, hands, humor, penguin, publish, tiny, tiny hand, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Just shared via Facebook:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Trending via Facebook:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Going viral on Slack:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Breaking via Twitch:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨