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Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,852

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Trending via Slack:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Live now on Pinterest:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Seen just now on X:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Adding imaginary conquests to the resume now—my dream life is more exciting than my real one! 😂💤💔

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

1 month ago
am, away, dentist, eat, eating, food, humor, hunger, i, irony, leave, never, restriction, right, told
I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

1 month ago
depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy
Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

1 month ago
40s, ability, aging, bones, changes, cracking, humor, life, life changes, sneaky, walk, walking, welcome
I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

1 month ago
20, aging, bad, bad eating habit, body, body image, eating, exercise, habit, habits, hate, humor, humorous, humorous observation, i, image, myself, no exercise, observation, picture, self-awareness, selfie, take
I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

1 month ago
conversation, expectations, frustration, hate, humor, i, imagine, interaction, line, man, person, planning, script, social, social interaction, spontaneity
Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

1 month ago
collapse, crisis, existential, existential crisis, humor, know, pairing, satire, societal, societal collapse, well, wine

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Making waves on Slack:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Going viral on Discord:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

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Activity Log ✨

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

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I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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