Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Trending via Facebook:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Going viral on X:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just shared via X:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, reading 20 books, huh? That’s cute. Try keeping up with my 50,000 tweets marathon! 📚🤳 Who needs novels when you have Twitter for instant literary gratification? 🐦😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

44 shares on Discord this month:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

89 shares on Discord this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

86 shares on Discord this month:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Just shared via TikTok:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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