Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Just landed via YouTube:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Spotted on YouTube:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about attempting to communicate with a cat, humorously highlighting feline indifference.

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Commentary:
"When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"

animal, animal communication, back, barrier, cat, cats, communication, effort, English, humor, i, joke, just, language, language barrier, language joke, making, meowing, quirky, show, tried

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Spotted on Slack:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Breaking via Instagram:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Seen just now on X:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Trending via Messenger:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Going bananas on Telegram:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Making waves on WeChat:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

This meeting could have been a cake.

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Keep the laugh going 😂

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

This meeting could have been a cake.

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨