Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Going viral on YouTube:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Trending via TikTok:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Trending via Slack:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

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Commentary:
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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

46 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

41 shares on X this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

11 shares on Slack this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Making waves on Slack:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Going viral on Discord:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Making waves on Reddit:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

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