Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Shared recently on Threads:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Trending via Twitch:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Trending via TikTok:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Live now on TikTok:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When pop stars have more followers than politicians have constituents, it's clear who really runs the world! 🎤💻🌟

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

0

4 months ago

annoyance, annoying, humor, media, most, remember, shorter, social, social media, thing, think, trying, Twitter, word
Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

0

2 months ago

attraction, behavior, drive, health, humor, just, people, perception, relationships, sex, sex drive, smoking, social, social behavior, vaping
It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, humor, morning, observation, people, phone, phones, technology, walking
Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, metaphor, morning, motivation, only, positivity, wind, wings
I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

0

2 months ago

anything, diet, eat, exercise, humor, i, lose, sport, time, weight
I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

0

2 months ago

am, car, dating, delivery, done, food, food delivery, humor, job, people, priorities, relationships, sites

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

32 shares on Slack this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

45 shares on Threads this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

17 shares on X this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

69 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

58 shares on Slack this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Just shared via Telegram:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Just shared via Discord:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Trending via WeChat:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Breaking via Slack:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Shared recently on X:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

About to form my very first opinion.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨