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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Just landed via Reddit:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Live now on X:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Just shared via WeChat:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Going viral on Facebook:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Spotted on WeChat:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

2 months ago

0

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious private number caller – the real MVP of avoiding conversations! 🕵️‍♂️😂 Let's give a round of applause to the art of dodging phone calls with a touch of sass. #RespectYourPrivacyButAlsoMyPeace ✌️📵"

call, humor, joke, me, number, phone, privacy, respect

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoy, humor, long walk, me, people, sarcasm, walk
Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

0

5 months ago

2, awesome, Congress, country, ethic, humor, month, month off, most, people, sarcasm, taking, two week vacation, vacation, week, weeks, where, work, work ethic
Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

0

2 months ago

actually, awkward, awkward situation, doing, ear, eavesdropping, funny question, hear, hell, hold, humor, know, leg, question, say, situation, stranger, strangers
If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

0

2 months ago

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance
Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

0

4 months ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird
My body is a vessel for various dips.

0

1 month ago

body, dip, eating, food, humor, snack, vessel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

95 shares on X this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Live now on Pinterest:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Trending via WeChat:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Just landed via Instagram:

How is it still this week?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Just landed via Instagram:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

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