Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious private number caller – the real MVP of avoiding conversations! 🕵️‍♂️😂 Let's give a round of applause to the art of dodging phone calls with a touch of sass. #RespectYourPrivacyButAlsoMyPeace ✌️📵"

call, humor, joke, me, number, phone, privacy, respect

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

2 months ago
determination, going, hell, keep, keep going, motivation, perseverance, resilience, struggle
I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

1 month ago
humor, moment, motivation, perfect, perfect moment, procrastination, self-improvement, stop, timing, waiting
Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

1 month ago
alone, awake, better, beverage, caffeine, coffee, humor, just, morning, only, solitude
My favorite thing to do is nothing.

1 month ago
favorite, favorite thing, humor, leisure, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, thing
I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

1 month ago
change, divorce, getting, humor, i, life, life change, problems, relationship, solution
Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

1 month ago
dependency, done, ever, expectations, growth, health, humor, man, me, meds, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, relationships, self-care

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Just shared via WeChat:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Just shared via Slack:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Trending via Messenger:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Making waves on Threads:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏