Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Trending via Messenger:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Just shared via Facebook:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Live now on Threads:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Freshly posted on Discord:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Spotted on YouTube:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Trending via Facebook:

I had too much to think last night.

Live now on Snapchat:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Just shared via Telegram:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least now I know where to keep my snacks during awkward conversations! 😂🙈 #Priorities

boob, boobs, contact, eye, eye contact, glad, humor, i, interaction, last, making, me, need, people, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

0

2 months ago

answer, challenges, choices, door, give, humor, lemons, life, perspective, positivity
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

0

2 months ago

bright, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, light, people, perception, sound, speak, wit
The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

0

2 months ago

film, film title, Footloose, humor, joke, movie, pun, saw, should, title, wordplay
Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

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2 months ago

cooperation, funny observation, having, insist, ironic, irony, language, observation, own, pronunciation, sounds, vowel, wordplay
It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

0

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning
I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

0

2 months ago

air, bag, chip, chips, company, enough, humor, i, joke, kind, little, parody, playful, potato, potato chip, put, satire, snack, snack humor, today, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

40 shares on Discord this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

15 shares on Discord this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Making waves on TikTok:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just shared via X:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Just landed via Instagram:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Shared recently on YouTube:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨