Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Live now on Instagram:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via Messenger:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Going bananas on Discord:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Making waves on Twitch:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Breaking via Threads:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about longing for a non-furry companion, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I tried it once, but the lack of purring just didn't cut it 😂🐱🏠

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

96 shares on Discord this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

68 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Going viral on TikTok:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Spotted on TikTok:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Just shared via X:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Trending via Pinterest:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨