Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,981

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Just shared via Discord:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just landed via Threads:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on WeChat:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Trending via WeChat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Trending via Instagram:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Just landed via X:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Broadcasted on Discord:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'd recommend some ghost therapy for my buddy, but I'm afraid they'd become pals and plan a haunting party instead! 👻🎉👻

actually, being, benefit, crazy, ghost, ghosts, humor, i, joke, know, people, spooky, three, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

0

2 months ago

fruit, humor, joke, let, let go, mango, need, pun, puns, relationship
One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself
Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

0

2 months ago

baby, back, excitement, food, half, hell, humor, lunch, motivation, run, run it back, sandwich, second, second half
There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

0

2 months ago

address, bigger, email, email address, frustration, patience, remote, technology, technology frustration, test, TV, typing
Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

0

2 months ago

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work
I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

0

2 months ago

9pm, activity, after, age, anything, bedtime, evening, fun, humor, i, laziness, night, want, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Live now on Discord:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Going viral on X:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Just landed via Messenger:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Going viral on Discord:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Spotted on Threads:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨