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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Spotted on YouTube:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Making waves on Threads:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Making waves on YouTube:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Live now on Discord:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Woke up feeling like my pillow tried karate on me last night! 🛏️🥊😴

bar, bar fight, bed, crawling, fight, humor, i, love, only, relaxation, retreat, sleep, spa, struggle, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, life, money, priorities, problems, solution, solve, wealth
At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, buy, everyone, going, humor, just, loser, point, Tesla
A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

0

2 days ago

addict, addiction, betting, called, gambler, gambling, humor, irony, lose, only, risk
Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

0

2 months ago

challenge, communication, figure, fun, me, mystery, opening, relationship, trying
My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, exercise, flexibility, health, humor, irony, morning, morning routine, pain, routine, upper, yoga
Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

0

3 weeks ago

better, cheese, comfort, comfort food, cooking, feeling, feeling feral, feral, food, mac, mac and cheese, mood

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

100 shares on Threads this month:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

35 shares on Threads this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Seen just now on Slack:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Going viral on TikTok:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Breaking via Slack:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Going viral on Threads:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨