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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Breaking via Discord:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Trending via X:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Going viral on Instagram:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Trending via TikTok:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When your brain turns into a chatty insomniac and refuses to respect office hours 😂🧠🌙

2, 2 a.m., a.m., am, brain, funny thought, humor, insomnia, late, late night, night, sleep, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

1 month ago
card, cat, Christmas, Christmas card, gift, holiday, humor, independence, sarcasm
When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

1 month ago
ask, client, communication, confusion, creativity, design, humor, i, means, mind, myself, pop, project
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

1 month ago
always, am, confusion, dollar, every, getting, going, humor, i, ID, irony, know, money, sarcasm, time, unexpected, why
It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

1 month ago
balance, health, healthy, humor, insane, little, mental, mental health, positivity, self-care, sometimes
Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

1 month ago
baby, back, excitement, food, half, hell, humor, lunch, motivation, run, run it back, sandwich, second, second half
If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

1 month ago
asking, cue, funny observation, humor, mean, observation, queue, sarcasm, shit, social, social cue, someone, waiting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

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Activity Log ✨

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

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My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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