Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Making waves on YouTube:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Trending via YouTube:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Just landed via WeChat:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about marriage conflicts turned into a witty limited series title.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning arguments into binge-worthy series since day one! 🍿🎬

another, argument, called, fight, humor, husband, i, limited, limited sery, marriage, relationship, series, sery, storytelling, thing, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

22 shares on X this month:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Trending via Facebook:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Just landed via Messenger:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Breaking via Telegram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on Threads:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Seen just now on X:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Making waves on YouTube:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Spotted on Discord:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨