Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Spotted on WeChat:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Spotted on Threads:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Just landed via WeChat:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Live now on Facebook:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Spotted on TikTok:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning arguments into binge-worthy series since day one! 🍿🎬

another, argument, called, fight, humor, husband, i, limited, limited sery, marriage, relationship, series, sery, storytelling, thing, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

0

5 months ago

attitude, confidence, humor, imagination, imagine, irony, knowledge, sarcasm, thinking
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

0

3 months ago

am, fool, honesty, humor, i, joke, me, once, pure, purity, shame, stop, trust, twice
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

0

2 months ago

frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, line, patience, shopping, slow, store, superpower
Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

0

5 months ago

after, beginner, confusion, frustration, game, gaming, hell, humor, me, play, skipping, tutorial
I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

0

2 months ago

broccoli, comparison, feel, feeling, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, little, misty, nature, rain, store, unusual, unusual comparison
My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

0

2 months ago

brain, confusion, distraction, humor, i, mental, mental overload, multitasking, music, open, overload, playing, tab, tabs, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

61 shares on Slack this month:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Breaking via Threads:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Just shared via Snapchat:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Going viral on WeChat:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨