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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Seen just now on Threads:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Going viral on Threads:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Spotted on YouTube:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Trending via Messenger:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your kid has the psychic ability to detect yucky food from a mile away! 🥦🔮😆"

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

0

2 months ago

charge, days, fat, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, remind, reminder, technology, watch
The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

0

2 months ago

animal, card, concern, credit, credit card debt, debt, finance, humor, joke, lion, metaphor, money, stress
Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

0

3 months ago

after, behavior, dominance, humor, LinkedIn, media, networking, online, online behavior, social, social media, yours
Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, caffeine, hair, humor, joke, morning, morning routine, product, routine, shampoo, used, work
Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

0

4 weeks ago

anyone, effort, else, hard, humor, motivation, noticed, observation, procrastination, reluctance, task, things, want
I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

0

2 months ago

always, arm, carry, grocery, humor, i, keys, multitasking, one arm, pocket, struggle, wrong, wrong pocket

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Just landed via Telegram:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Going viral on Slack:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Trending via Instagram:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Just landed via Twitch:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨