Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Freshly posted on X:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Trending via Discord:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Shared recently on Facebook:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Spotted on Slack:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Just shared via Threads:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Going viral on X:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a well-balanced diet of hopeful thinking and frequent snacking! 🍔⏳😂

diet, eating, hours, humor, journey, just, loss, meal, meals, three, time, weight, weight loss

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

0

3 weeks ago

72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

0

2 months ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, health, hope, i, laid, mental, mental health, own, relationships, soon
You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

0

2 months ago

cooking, creativity, food, humor, kitchen, lettuce, rule-breaking, rules, salad, want
‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

0

2 months ago

fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift wrapping, holiday, humor, motor, objects, paper, season, skills, T-Rex, wrap, wrapping
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

0

2 months ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace
The only thing I gained this year is weight.

0

2 months ago

fitness, gain, humor, new, new year, resolution, self-deprecation, thing, weight, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

47 shares on X this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Breaking via Reddit:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just landed via X:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Just shared via Discord:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Just shared via Threads:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Breaking via TikTok:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Spotted on Threads:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨