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Babies need an off switch like TVs 🎛️📺 Just click, and they're snoozing! 😴😆
I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.
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Sounds like AI's got its chores confused… Can we get a software update for doing laundry next? 🧺🤖🎨📚
Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.
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Trying to keep my grandma from discovering my "fictional" autobiography! 📚🕵️♀️👀
January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.
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The calendar may say different, but my couch potato instincts know it's a universal lazy day! 🥳🛋️📅
It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.
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Talk about a match made in Tinder-heaven! 😂❤️👀
It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.
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"Guess everyone's resolutions are to avoid leftover fruitcake! 🥳🎄🎊"
Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.
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Can't believe we've been greenlit for a sequel! 🎬🍿✨
Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.
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New Year’s resolution: Add helium to your to-do list! 🎈😄
There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.
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Looks like we're all winging it like professional penguins on ice! 🐧❄️😅
Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.
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Simultaneous handshakes and name amnesia – my ultimate party trick! 🤝😅