Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,802

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Seen just now on Facebook:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Making waves on Threads:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Just shared via Slack:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Live now on Pinterest:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Shared recently on Threads:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

More funny quotes 👇

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

0

6 days ago

acting, again, am, apology, happen, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

6 days ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

0

6 days ago

co-worker, conversation, coworker, here, humor, me, sarcasm, unapproachable, workplace
Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

0

6 days ago

behavior, care, fun, humor, introvert, just, know, personality, secrecy, social, social behavior, too
I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

0

6 days ago

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit
I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

0

6 days ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

0

6 days ago

adversity, guy, humor, just, life, motivation, nobody, remember, right, sarcasm, struggle, worse
Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

0

7 days ago

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish
Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

0

7 days ago

change, conversation, humor, i, name, phrase, pun, want, wordplay
I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

0

7 days ago

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on X this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

32 shares on Discord this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

75 shares on X this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Shared recently on Twitch:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Just landed via Instagram:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Going viral on Twitch:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨