Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Spotted on Discord:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Trending via Messenger:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Making waves on YouTube:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I disagree with my politics.

Trending via Telegram:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Spotted on Discord:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

More funny quotes 👇

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

0

7 days ago

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

7 days ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

0

7 days ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

0

7 days ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

7 days ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

0

7 days ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace
Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

0

7 days ago

always, anywhere, around, driving, guys, humor, joke, mad, Mad Max, max, post-apocalyptic, travel, why
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

0

7 days ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

0

7 days ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

7 days ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

64 shares on X this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Just landed via Twitch:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨