Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Just landed via Telegram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Trending via Discord:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That’s like saying “Let’s hang out” and then disappearing into the void. 😂🗽🌆

city, city life, ever, humor, interaction, invitation, know, let, life, me, NYC, people, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

0

2 months ago

Beyoncé, day, deception, digital, digital deception, easy, humor, humor quote, i, identity, internet, internet humor, internet joke, joke, just, lie, lying, media, online, online identity, online lying, social, social media, telling, too
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

0

4 weeks ago

argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

0

2 months ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty
When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

0

2 months ago

ambitious, appearance, compliment, face, humor, i, irony, killer, meant, personality, serial, serial killer
It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

0

3 days ago

attraction, beautiful, humor, love, pervert, real, relationship
The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

0

2 months ago

animal, Canada, comedy, goose, humor, music, saxophone, violent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

91 shares on Discord this month:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Trending via Facebook:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Making waves on Threads:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Breaking via Reddit:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Going viral on Facebook:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨