Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Freshly posted on X:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Spotted on Twitch:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living life like a financial funambulist! 🤹‍♂️💸😅

bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

1 month ago
craving, donut, errands, humor, i, last, need, needs, relationship, run, snack, wife
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

1 month ago
alternate, app, family, join, start, taken, taken down, Twitter
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

1 month ago
calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

1 month ago
babe, back, cat, communication, humor, kill, meow, partner, pet, pet humor, playful, relationship
Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

2 months ago
hottest, hottest single, humor, joke, me, music, personality, self-confidence, single, Spotify, year
Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

1 month ago
animal, buddy, Funny, humor, me, pet, reaction, seeing, sigh

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Live now on TikTok:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Just landed via X:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Going viral on Telegram:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏