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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Going viral on X:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Just landed via Messenger:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Making waves on X:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Making waves on Telegram:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll have to start renting a fancy car for my next reunion 🚗💨😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

0

2 months ago

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My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

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2 months ago

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Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

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2 months ago

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I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

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2 months ago

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Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

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2 months ago

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Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WeChat this month:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I only drink when I people.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

53 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Making waves on Messenger:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Making waves on Twitch:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Live now on Twitch:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Spotted on X:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨