Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Spotted on Discord:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Just shared via YouTube:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Just shared via Instagram:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Spotted on Slack:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"

chores, dishes, everyone, gardening, great, hobby, humor, idea, keep, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, self-deprecating, shoutout, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, anger, angry, ban, drunk, father, hunger, hungry, lot, memory, ones, people, stoned, weed
Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

0

2 months ago

body, body grooming, bush, fashion, grooming, humor, loss, pants, pants size, shave, shaved, size, weight, weight loss
Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

0

2 months ago

advice, advisor, budgeting, cost, enough, finance, financial, financial advisor, hiring, humor, i, money, paying, personal, personal finance, piece
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird
“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

0

2 months ago

assistance, bored, boredom, help, helping, humor, sarcasm, search, sure, translation, turn
My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

0

2 months ago

bar, beer, beers, consumption, furniture, Gjörfbunkle, humor, i, IKEA, least, meant, opinion, purchase, shopping, should, think, three

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

62 shares on X this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

85 shares on Discord this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Trending via YouTube:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Shared recently on X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Just landed via Discord:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Seen just now on Slack:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Seen just now on Slack:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Spotted on TikTok:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨