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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Making waves on Messenger:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Making waves on Discord:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Just landed via YouTube:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

69 but we both just farting.

Trending via YouTube:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

2 months ago

0

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you finally become the mysterious family member at gatherings: 👀🕵️‍♀️🍷

aging, aunt, distance, dynamics, family, family dynamics, humor, making, older, rest, sense, start, uncle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

0

4 months ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

0

2 months ago

18th, 18th century, casual, century, devotion, eternal, fall, i, love, relationship, vampire
Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

0

1 month ago

2, 5, actually, am, awesome, bedtime, black, couple, cozy, evening, feels, humor, movie, night, only, perception, pitch, put, reality, staying, super, time, time perception, winter
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

0

2 months ago

abduction, alien, aliens, chores, clean, cleaning, eat, hands, humor, hygiene, i, me, mothership, parenting, room, vegetables, wash
Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad driver, crossroads, driver, driving, humor, intersection, life, unfortunately
I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

0

2 months ago

contemplation, enjoyment, fill, i, leisure, life, life perspective, pace, perspective, porch, relaxation, sitting, slow, slow pace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

95 shares on X this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Shared recently on Slack:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Shared recently on X:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Breaking via Facebook:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Just shared via X:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Shared recently on X:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Just landed via Facebook:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

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