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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Making waves on Telegram:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Just landed via Threads:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Freshly posted on Slack:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Trending via Facebook:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Napping is my afternoon power move—resting as hard as I work! 😴💪😂

3, 5, afternoon, joke, nap, time, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

4 weeks ago

adult, always, being, chore, cleaning, daily, daily chore, day, gone, i, kitchen, matter, never, responsibility, takeout, thing
Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

1 month ago

care, doing, humor, irony, routine, self, self-care, skin, skin care
My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

2 weeks ago

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word
If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

1 month ago

animation, anything, cartoons, cliff, comedy, fall, humor, irony, little, satire, slapstick, taught, umbrella, us, uselessness
Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

1 month ago

comparison, crack, finish, focus, humor, hundred, just, multitasking, once, people, productivity, squirrel, start, task, things, trying
Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

1 month ago

curiosity, drug, enough, existential, God, high, humor, humor quote, satire, spirituality, stay, think, tuned

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Spotted on Instagram:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Spotted on TikTok:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

I’m ready to try another planet.

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

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That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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