Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Going viral on Reddit:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Live now on WeChat:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Just landed via Reddit:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Making waves on Slack:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achieving "Master of Zen and the Art of Couch Surfing" isn't just a skill, it's a lifestyle 🧘‍♂️✨🛋️

5, break, career, career break, enlightenment, gap, humor, i, job, job gap, meditation, reach, resume, resume gap, self-improvement, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

2 months ago

geography, Gulf, humor, Mexico, naming, ocean, sea, Señor, wordplay
“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

2 months ago

busy, humor, items, list, new, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, workload
Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

1 day ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

3 months ago

40s, aging, another, appearance, chin, humor, joke, loneliness, lonely, looks, self-deprecation, welcome
I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

17 hours ago

cozy, fort, friendship, humor, ID, invitation, pillow, pillow fort, room
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

14 hours ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

54 shares on Threads this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I had too much to think last night.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just landed via Reddit:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Spotted on WeChat:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Going viral on Instagram:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Seen just now on X:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨