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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just shared via TikTok:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Making waves on Messenger:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Live now on Slack:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Trending via WeChat:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Just landed via X:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote highlighting how ChatGPT exposes your lack of wit if you're not clever.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like ChatGPT has a mirror mode for brains! 🤖🧠🔄

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Slack this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

24 shares on X this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

64 shares on WeChat this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

27 shares on Threads this month:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Just shared via Facebook:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Making waves on Discord:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨