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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Spotted on WeChat:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Freshly posted on X:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, they're plotting your fabulousness again! 😎✨🙌

back, backtalk, beautiful, beauty, behind, compliment, cool, coolness, gossip, humor, irony, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

0

3 weeks ago

bit, evil, girl, humor, important, little, lose, me, meet, relationship, strange
Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, having, humor, life, matters, none, ok, pee, perspective, priorities, things, urgency
Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

0

2 months ago

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work
If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

0

5 months ago

back, being, break, break up, cool, cool stuff, date, dating, humor, i, lame, lingo, relationship, shit, slang, stuff, taught
Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

0

2 months ago

away, comedy, emotional, emotional suppression, feelings, health, humor, i, jokes, mental, mental health, replace, right, sarcasm, self-deprecation, sorry, suppression, wit
Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

0

2 months ago

4, cherry, fruit, humor, joke, just, math, pounds, problem, purchase

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

82 shares on X this month:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

56 shares on X this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Trending via Slack:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Trending via Snapchat:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨