Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Seen just now on Threads:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Going viral on TikTok:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Shared recently on X:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Just landed via Telegram:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, they're plotting your fabulousness again! 😎✨🙌

back, backtalk, beautiful, beauty, behind, compliment, cool, coolness, gossip, humor, irony, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

0

2 months ago

blame, favorite, hand, humor, husband, i, losing, relationship, something, thing
Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

0

2 months ago

another, dating, fear, heartbreak, humor, love, pointless, relationship, sarcasm, scared, single
Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

0

2 months ago

crow, crows, friend, friends, frustration, guys, humor, interaction, sarcasm, screw, social, social interaction
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

0

2 months ago

back, behavior, call, cat, dog, humor, message, pet, pet behavior, procrastination, witty
Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, me, personality, sarcasm, self-deprecation, teasing, whatever, worse
Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

0

2 months ago

20, brain, brains, clue, email, every, forget, forgetfulness, Funny, got, humor, i, irony, memory, password, remember, song, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Spotted on Pinterest:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Going viral on Threads:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Just shared via Messenger:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Broadcasted on X:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨