Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Trending via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Trending via Threads:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Spotted on WeChat:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Going viral on Messenger:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Shared recently on X:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Trending via Discord:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just call me Dr. Chickenstein, performing the most delicious autopsy known to mankind! 🔍🍗😂"

activity, autopsy, chicken, eat, food, food joke, fun, fun activity, humor, i, joke, pretend, quirky, rotisserie, silly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will sit in the rain about this.

0

3 months ago

humor, i, patience, rain, sit, sitting, stubbornness, weather
For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, communication, humor, ID, understanding, wish
On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

0

2 months ago

adventure, anything, fantasy, humor, journey, Mordor, need, nerd, quest
Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, little, much, oops, overthinking, self-reflection, think, too, too much
You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

0

2 months ago

aging, blowing, earlobe, feel, getting, getting older, hair, humor, older, self-reflection, think, well, wind
Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

0

2 months ago

cigarette, coke, diet, Diet Coke, dieting, fridge, humor, just, sarcasm, soda

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

14 shares on Slack this month:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

50 shares on X this month:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Just shared via Slack:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Trending via Threads:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I will sit in the rain about this.

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨