Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Trending via Reddit:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Going viral on Telegram:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Trending via Pinterest:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Just shared via Twitch:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Just shared via Facebook:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop at opening it? Paint it a fabulous color while you're at it! 🚪🎨😂

again, door, humor, life, motivation, open, persistence, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

0

5 months ago

call, depressed, depression, eating, eating habit, fasting, financial, financial struggle, habit, health, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, mental, mental health, poor, poverty, struggle, sure, well
Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

0

2 months ago

awesome, confidence, humor, i, individuality, judge, me, perfect, self-acceptance
Most earthquakes could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, earthquake, earthquakes, efficiency, email, humor, sarcasm, technology, work
Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

0

2 months ago

95, aging, brain, computer, feel, humor, i, mental, mental state, outdated, running, software, sometimes, state, still, system, technology, Windows, Windows 95
Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

0

2 months ago

cremation, death, death joke, humor, joke, just, pun, urn, wordplay
I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, age, comfort, convenience, extra, i, little, maturity, okay, paying, payment, spending, understand, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

27 shares on Slack this month:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

58 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

37 shares on Discord this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Live now on Twitch:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Live now on WeChat:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Spotted on WeChat:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨