Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like you've leveled up from just 'phone enthusiast' to 'phone aficionado' today! 📱😄 Next stop: 'phone guru.' 👾🎮 Just remember to stretch those texting fingers every now and then! 💪🤳"

activity, day, fun, fun activity, humor, long day, phone, playing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

0

2 months ago

chore, domestic, domestic humor, expression, face, floor, funny expression, funny face, glad, household, household chore, household mess, humor, i, just, laundry, machine, mess, nobody, sock, spot, washing, washing machine
Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

0

3 months ago

bond, break, butter, food, food love, friendship, humor, love, me, nothing, peanut, peanut butter
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

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2 months ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

0

3 months ago

am, cake, eat, else, food, hell, humor, i, idiom, misunderstanding, phrase, understand
My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

0

4 months ago

alarm, before, best, humor, minutes, morning, nap, ones, rest, right, sleep, three, tired, wake up
None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

0

2 months ago

font, fonts, humor, identity, Instagram, me, media, none, self-expression, social, social media, story

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Just landed via Discord:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Freshly posted on X:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Trending via Instagram:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Seen just now on Threads:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨