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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Making waves on Facebook:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Trending via Snapchat:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Just shared via WeChat:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Trending via Messenger:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Going viral on X:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Clever humorous text questioning Mr. Pepper's educational background with playful wit.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, rumor has it that Mr. Pepper graduated from the prestigious 'Spicy University' with a major in Savory Studies and a minor in Hot Topics! 🌶️🎓 #SpiceUpYourEducation

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Friends with consequences.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Trending via Pinterest:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Live now on Messenger:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Live now on Facebook:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Seen just now on X:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Trending via TikTok:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just landed via TikTok:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

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