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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Breaking via Facebook:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wondering if they're more into "tweet" metal than heavy metal! 🎸🐦🎶

asking, band, bird, bird song, birds, humor, know, Metallica, music, outside, rock, rock band, song, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, humor, milestone, perception, teenager, welcome
Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, just, listen, listening, people, talking, wait
Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

0

2 months ago

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year
Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

0

3 months ago

anxiety, curiosity, explode, explosion, Google, googled, humor, just, mental, mental state, state, sun
The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

0

2 months ago

flex, growth, humor, real, resilience, turn, wisdom, wounds

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Slack this month:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

92 shares on X this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

68 shares on X this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Breaking via Reddit:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Making waves on X:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨