Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to caffeinate both your coffee and your love life simultaneously! ☕📱 Who knew smooth talk could come with a side of caffeine rush? 😄

asking, awkward, awkward moment, coffee, date, humor, i, later, minutes, moment, number, phone, phone number, relationship, texting, waiter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

0

2 months ago

appointment, appointments, arm, doctor, fat, hate, humor, i, me, money, stab
If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

0

2 months ago

disrespect, due, ever, humor, i, irony, none, please, respect, sarcasm, say, understand, witty
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

0

2 months ago

bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag
I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

0

2 months ago

able, attention, attention span, being, check, complete, curiosity, distraction, feet, focus, hours, i, just, legs, miss, penguin, phone, procrastination, read, reading, sentence, span, study
Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

0

2 months ago

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole
How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

0

5 months ago

aging, brain, forgetfulness, humor, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, remember, same, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

14 shares on Slack this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Making waves on Telegram:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Just landed via Slack:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Just landed via Reddit:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨