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Commentary:
Well, that's one way to caffeinate both your coffee and your love life simultaneously! ☕📱 Who knew smooth talk could come with a side of caffeine rush? 😄

asking, awkward, awkward moment, coffee, date, humor, i, later, minutes, moment, number, phone, phone number, relationship, texting, waiter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

0

2 months ago

bug, bugs, developer, finding, humor, irony, joke, love, nature, only, programming, spider, technology, web, web developer
You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

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5 months ago

confused, confusion, dog, feel, funny observation, head, head tilt, humor, i, know, looks, observation, people, sound, strange, talking, tilt
I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

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2 months ago

fascination, humor, irony, leisure, me, observation, procrastination, productivity, work
And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

0

2 months ago

audience, comedy, hilarious, humor, people, room, us
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

0

3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry
You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

0

5 months ago

35, advice, age, aging, bathroom, before, better, bladder, funny advice, health, humor, leave, over, pee, routine, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Going viral on Twitch:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Making waves on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Going bananas on X:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Just shared via Messenger:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Making waves on X:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨