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Commentary:
"Trying to blow over your problems is just like trying to dust off a tornado 🌪️🌬️. You might end up with a bigger mess on your hands! 💨😂"

blowing, cleaning, dusting, humor, irony, over, perspective

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

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2 months ago

brag, entertainment, humor, me, movie, sleep, watching
By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

0

2 months ago

date, humor, i, irony, meet, person, relationship, right, self-deprecation, time, timing, wrong
Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

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2 months ago

analogy, animal, city, comparison, funny comparison, humor, life, new, New York City, quirky, raccoon, theo, Theo Von, urban, urban life, visits, von, york
Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

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2 months ago

believe, career, childhood, cover, cover letter, dream, dumb, ever, fun, girl, grow, having, humor, i, letter, letters, little, pony, rainbow, ride, sarcasm, space, work
No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

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2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told
They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

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2 months ago

always, best, best things, humor, late, procrastination, say, take, things, time, timing, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

95 shares on X this month:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Just landed via Discord:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Live now on X:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Seen just now on Threads:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Live now on WeChat:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Going bananas on Slack:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨