Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Just shared via X:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Just landed via Instagram:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Trending via Discord:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Trending via Pinterest:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe I should start a support group: People with Uncontrollable Monkey Instincts 🐒🛏️🙈

advice, bed, behavior, both, doctor, family, health, health advice, humor, instinct, jumping, jumping on the bed, know, live, monkey, monkey instinct, playful, playful behavior, said, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

0

2 months ago

AI, check, coming, day, emails, fantasy, fantasy football, football, hours, humor, ID, jobs, life, office, office life, productivity, send, technology, work
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

0

2 months ago

advice, chance, good, humor, miss, shut, shut up, wit
Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, death, environment, humor, Kardashian, kim, Kim Kardashian, plastic, sea
Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, news, relaxing, things, tornado
Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

0

2 months ago

dating, expectations, falling, finding, humor, imagine, irony, love, me, relationship, slow, slow walker, walker
I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

0

2 months ago

2, afternoon, am, bedtime, day, fatigue, i, sleep, tired, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Spotted on Messenger:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨