Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Seen just now on Slack:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Playful text suggesting Mini Cooper drivers should add flags to fill parking stalls.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Mini Cooper drivers should come with a warning flag accessory for parking lots – it's like playing Where's Waldo but with tiny cars! 🚗🚩 #MiniCooperMystery"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

29 shares on Slack this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

93 shares on X this month:

May the algorithms be with you.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Earth is hard.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Going bananas on Threads:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Seen just now on Discord:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Just landed via TikTok:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Trending via Slack:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via X:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Going viral on Twitch:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Just landed via Telegram:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴