Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Live now on Telegram:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Just shared via X:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Spotted on WeChat:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Seen just now on Messenger:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via Messenger:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Trending via WeChat:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess my drumming wasn't a soundproof success story after all! 🥁😴🔔

3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, believe, doorbell, drums, funny situation, i, last, late, late night, neighbor, night, noise, playing, playing drums, situation, still, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

0

2 months ago

chair, humor, okay, relatable, self-deprecation, too, unstable, wobbly, wobbly chair
Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, choices, fun, humor, i, irresponsible, irresponsible adult, life, life choices, responsibility, responsible, responsible adult, tired
Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff
Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, deserved, dressed, face, getting, getting dressed, humor, i, morning, myself, punch, say, self-deprecation
The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, comparison, cup, energy, humor, me, motivation, Popeye, second, spinach
I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

0

2 months ago

blind, hear, hearing, i, illegal, interest, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

85 shares on Discord this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Making waves on YouTube:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Breaking via Instagram:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Making waves on Discord:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨