Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Making waves on Discord:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Spotted on Threads:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

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Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.
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Commentary:
"When life gets cheesy, grab a freebie! 🍔😄 #MoodBooster"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

You can reach me by butterfly.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I disagree with my politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Spotted on TikTok:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Trending via Messenger:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Spotted on Twitch:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

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