Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,270

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,270

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Live now on WeChat:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Going viral on Instagram:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Making waves on YouTube:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

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Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.
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Commentary:
"Dating apps or the new frontier of science? 📊💔🔬 Swipe right for research!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Reddit this month:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

10 shares on X this month:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,270

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,270

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Just landed via Discord:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Live now on Twitch:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Seen just now on Discord:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Just landed via Instagram:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Just shared via Discord:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

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