Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Live now on Slack:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just landed via Facebook:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Live now on Facebook:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Spotted on Facebook:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Freshly posted on X:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I’m on a word diet, but still on an all-you-can-eat hot dog plan! 🌭😂

dog, dogs, food, food joke, hot, hot dog, humor, joke, mouth, phrase, put, where, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

0

2 months ago

Andre, giant, humor, i, just, nickname, observation, own, self-identification, think, wit
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

0

2 months ago

clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

0

2 months ago

court, free, humor, irony, judge, legal, legal system, me, money, paid, sarcasm, system
Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

0

2 months ago

challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, even, humor, i, January, laugh, month, people, worse, worst, worst month, year
Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

0

2 months ago

alert, date, expiration, expiration date, food, humor, jokes, spoiler, spoiler alert
The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

0

2 months ago

child, clothing, cold, fashion, humor, item, parenting, parents, sweater, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Discord this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

98 shares on Discord this month:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Making waves on Threads:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Shared recently on Threads:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Just landed via Slack:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Live now on Instagram:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨