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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Just landed via Discord:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew the Founding Fathers were just ahead of their time in creating 'America's Next Top Drama'! 🎬🇺🇸🤣"

entertainment, fact, fun, fun fact, humor, meant, reality, reality TV, satire, show, TV, us, 미국

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

0

2 months ago

absurdity, animal, car, cars, front, going, horse, humor, i, know, river, stop, trade, transportation
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

0

2 months ago

breath, detox, digital, digital detox, every, health, i, just, media, mental, mental health, mind, notification, notification overload, overload, peace, peace of mind, privacy, social, social media, someone, time, want
Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

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3 months ago

congratulation, fetal, fetal position, humor, i, joke, me, new, please, position, relaxation, rest, while
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

0

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

0

2 months ago

avoid, busy, daily, daily routine, drama, drinking, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, pee, peeing, routine, stay, too, water
Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

0

2 months ago

abacus, activity, busy, crime, doing, funny activity, humor, joke, math, math joke, procrastination, tax, tax crime

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

79 shares on Threads this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Spotted on Reddit:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Spotted on Facebook:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Breaking via YouTube:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Going viral on Pinterest:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨