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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Making waves on Messenger:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Trending via Facebook:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Home » Funny Arrested Quotes

Funny arrested quotes

Funny arrested quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments behind bars 🚓😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a cheeky laugh with friends, these witty lines turn a serious situation into pure comedy gold 🎉🤣 Get ready to giggle at the unexpected humor found in the most unlikely place—jail! 🕶️💥

New funny arrested quotes 👇

All funny arrested quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

85 shares on Threads this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being insane should at least burn calories.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Spotted on X:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Breaking via Twitch:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Live now on Slack:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Spotted on Slack:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Just landed via X:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Just landed via WeChat:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

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