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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Making waves on Telegram:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Going viral on WeChat:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Live now on Telegram:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Funny arrested quotes

Funny arrested quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments behind bars 🚓😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a cheeky laugh with friends, these witty lines turn a serious situation into pure comedy gold 🎉🤣 Get ready to giggle at the unexpected humor found in the most unlikely place—jail! 🕶️💥

New funny arrested quotes 👇

All funny arrested quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

47 shares on Discord this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize booing in the workplace.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Trending via Slack:

I love unplanned fun.

Breaking via YouTube:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Just shared via Slack:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

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